Friday, March 28, 2014

The Pratfall Effect: Clumsy Makes A Comeback



Have you ever tripped and fell in front of someone you liked then felt that wave of embarrassment wash over you? 

Of course you have. We all have. 

Well there's good news! Your stumble actually increased your chances of that person liking you back!

How, you ask? 

Well in 1966, psychologist Elliot Aronson discovered that making a small blunder in front of someone increases a persons attractiveness and likability. 

Just think about it. When you first meet someone what are the more likeable qualities?

Is it the person who seems to never have had a bad day in their life and never makes mistakes? Or is it the person who through good intentions has made slip-ups but is able to recognize them and laugh them off?

For me, it's the person who is willing and able to laugh at themselves that is more appealing. I know nobody is perfect and a little self deprication can be a strong selling point. Funny too! (just don't over do it). 

If you do find yourself in a nervous situation, trying to come off as 'perfect' might in fact work against you. 

So remember to relax and don't worry so much about slipping up. It's no doubt easier said then done but knowing that making a small mistake in the eyes of an observer is a GOOD thing should definitely help. 

Don't believe me? Just try it for yourself!

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Don't Be A Dick: A PSA

I was recently in a coffee shop and witnessed an unfortunate but all too common situation take place. 

It's around 9am, the morning after a night of considerable drinking with a couple of friends who were from out of town. We've just ordered our coffees and are standing at the cream/sugar station topping off our drinks. As we replace the lids on our cups, a commotion comes from back in the line.

Causing this disturbance is a pompous older white man, wreaking of entitlement, going off on the barista. I observe the old guys chest begin to puff out as his tone of voice and obvious sense of righteousness grows. I also notice the barista shrinking down in a mix of embarrassment and the need to bite his tongue.

Having been on the receiving end of a similar tongue lashing myself in the past, I knew that sense of embarrassment and decided I had seen enough.

"C'mon sir is that really nessecary? It's pretty early to be yelling at someone like that don't you think? Why don't you just drink your coffee and move on, I bet you'll feel better when you do."

The kid behind the counter looks over at me with relief in his eyes and whispers 'thanks'. 

With a bewildered expression on his face the old man leers over at me and replies, " I feel pretty good already.  Probably better than you"

"I doubt it sir, I feel pretty damn good " I shot back. 

Probably not used to being stood up to the old man grabs his coffee and mumbling under his breath brushes past me and out the door. 

This kind of incident happens all too often and it needs to stop. Its our responsibility as a society to stop tolerating retail bullies like the guy in this story. If someone is working, trying to make a living, helping you and happens to make a minor mistake do us all a favor...DON'T BE A DICK about it because in effect you're holding all of humanity down. 

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Mastermind Groups: What The Hell Are They and Why Should I Join One?

It's a dark and stormy night in Philadelphia, 1752.  Benjamin Franklin sits at home procrastinating his work when he hears a knock at the door. He swings open the door to find a cloaked messenger standing in the doorway. In the messengers hand, a sealed envelope. "A message from a mister George Webb, sir", says the messenger as he hands Benjamin Franklin the letter. The rider then quickly mounts his horse and dashes off into the storm. 
Franklin takes a seat at his desk and flips over the letter. On the back is a seal from his dear friend and fellow Junto( mastermind group) member, George Webb. As he breaks the seal on the envelope, Franklin slides the letter out from the envelope and begins to read:

"Hey Ben! Just wanted to check up on you and make sure you're still on track to finish your kite experiment. Let me know if you need any help. 


Did you see miss Mary Lou down at the general store yesterday?? Have mercy."

Franklin then slides the letter into his desk and begins assembling his kite made from strips of cedar and a silk handkerchief. That very night Ol' Ben flys the kite in the storm thus performing his famous experiment. 

...Okay so maybe that's not EXACTLY how it went down...or maybe it is....

The point is this: without the support from his mastermind group, Benjamin Franklin never discovers that lightning and electricity are made up of the same elements, and we live in a much darker world.

Mastermind groups have been used throughout history by entrepreneurs as well as other highly driven people and have consistently led to the massive success of their members. 

So what is a mastermind group, or as Franklin and his team called it, Junto?

A mastermind IS:
-a group based on mutual improvement of its members
-composed of 3-5 people
-primarily aimed at bettering the lives of the members and also their communities. 
-group discussions include intellectual, personal, business, and community topics

A mastermind is NOT:
-a class
-a coaching
-and for that one crazy uncle who's always asking, a cult

Mastermind groups are designed as a support system that promotes accountability. A brain trust or success team if you will. Fellow members help brainstorm new concepts and keep each other focused and on track. Mastermind groups are melting pots for well defined goals as well as fresh ideas. Along with group-wide accountability, the members personal/business lives are set up to propel them farther than they could've imagined if going at it alone. 

Whether you find a local group or start one of your own, the benefits of a mastermind group are soaring. 

The world needs your 'kite experiment'. Find your group and go change the world. 

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has."